Quarantine Dating? Is This Real Life?
Article By | Lizzie West
Though many still feel anxious about going out, they still want the opportunity to find a potential partner or relationship. Some thought it was challenging before; let’s consider the deep thought that now must go into dating during a pandemic that has forced many to stay home. Even more dire, some people we care about are living in this time alone, without daily support or interaction with people. However – looking at the entire picture – is it ALL bad? How will it change dating for some moving forward? We conducted a survey of people in our own community that are currently open to finding a partner, whether through actively or passively seeking one out, using different means in their search, and we’d like to share some of the insights we have gathered through their candid responses.
Let’s start with, how much harder is it? It’s markedly more difficult for those that have been actively dating and seeking a partner, even before all this craziness began a few months ago. Now, instead of trying to decide between coffee or dinner to establish if there is a connection with a new love interest, daters try making that same connection through a 40-minute Zoom coffee date? Can you really feel that spark through a screen? Many of the profiles available through online platforms emphasize how healthy they are in order to try to weasel in a meetup. Who is telling the truth? It sometimes feels like a dog and pony show, and adds to an already confusing and sometimes frustrating process. On the other hand, some of our daters felt it was actually TOO much time to talk before a physical meetup. It was interesting to see two sides of the same coin, so to speak.
Getting down to the nitty gritty – is it all bad, or are there redeeming qualities in how the shelter in place orders effected dating in 2020? According to our sources, it isn’t all bad. Some things they were able to take to heart through all this is that it may not be so terrible to slow things down and get to know someone better through things like Zoom dates. It’s also a great way to weed out prospects that aren’t on the same page about what you’re both looking for, and if someone was truly interested, they continued to communicate, knowing it would be a while before they would meet in person. This helped to limit those people simply looking for a hook-up. On a lighter note, one of our daters even noted:
“Dating profiles were so funny to read during this time, too.”
So, what did our sources learn that they will apply moving forward? Those that don’t typically look for partners online have decided online tools and apps can be advantageous, given it provides more flexibility to the process and you may meet someone you never would have in real life, especially if you were to shelter in place again. It is a great tool to use for socializing and meeting people, because a lot of people still aren’t going out much or they’re being more cautious in general when it comes to dating and meeting new people. Another source said they were thankful for the time they were given to work on self-reflection and identifying their own needs and getting those met before looking into a potential relationship. It was eye-opening in terms of realizing their own self-worth. Silver lining, perhaps? They decided not to continue wasting precious time chasing after people that aren’t interested in making time for them. Furthermore, any potential love interest should make an effort to keep lines of communication open, whether it is online, via phone, or in real life. The most interesting thing to come from these surveys is just how different each person is and how the isolation we have all faced really does impact each individual differently. Perspective really can change an entire situation, and I think we can all agree that we have been pushed into a different perspective, whether we were searching for love or already in committed relationships. The daters out there seem to be adjusting and utilizing the pandemic to their advantage, choosing to learn more about themselves and discover what their plans and expectations may be moving forward in the dating scene.
Good luck, daters! And best hopes to finding a great partner to quarantine with in 2021!