Article by Ashley Sanders, Owner of Ashley & Co.
We love how modern weddings have turned into such personalized events. Keep your personal interests and wedding etiquette in mind when detailing your special day and that will keep you right on track! These are several topics that we seem to be talking with our clients about during wedding planning more and more lately, and we hope it helps smooth the way to an enjoyable wedding planning process for the best wedding day!
Do I have to have an even number of bridesmaids and groomsmen in my wedding party?
Definitely not! The modern wedding is becoming more and more personalized, which means making sure each detail fits the bride and groom exactly the way it should. If you are a symmetrical person, I would suggest the same number of bridesmaids and groomsmen because you will prefer the look in pictures and at the ceremony. Otherwise, you just select the friends and family members who have loved and supported you and you know you need by your side! Or, if you have too many, like the latest Royal Wedding, you may choose to stand alone at the altar.
If someone is invited to one of my showers, do I invite them to my wedding?
Yes, absolutely. Etiquette dictates that if someone is extended an invitation to one of the pre-wedding festivities, they will also be on the wedding guest list.
Do I have to have a wedding rehearsal before the ceremony?
You certainly don’t have to rehearse for the wedding ceremony, it just calms the nerves of many before walking down the aisle. If you are working with a coordinator, they will be in charge of making sure everyone is aware of timing and where they are going the day of the wedding, so you can skip the rehearsal, or do it in another location than the ceremony if necessary. If you are not working with a coordinator, a rehearsal is a good idea to make sure things are remembered correctly when it’s show time.
I’m trying to be budget conscious, do I need to hire professionals for each vendor category, or can I get away with a friend taking pictures, videoing, doing my makeup, etc.?
If at all possible, it is always best to hire a professional. This ensures that your friends are able to enjoy your wedding and aren’t pressured to produce a professional scale product when that’s not what they do, and gives you the peace of mind that the professional you have hired is carrying out the contract the way the two of you have discussed. When interviewing your vendors, make sure you set your budget first so that you know who is in your range and what you can afford.
Do my mom and future mother in law have to have the same corsage?
Not at all! They can be as different as they want to be, and can certainly have an opinion about what they want to have that day, as long as it is okay with you. Some mothers prefer a pin to a wrist corsage, some prefer a hand tied bouquet, and some may want something that attaches to their purse. Talk to both mothers and see what they want before going to the florist.
I’m struggling with whether I should do assigned seating. What are the pros and cons?
Here is a general snapshot of pros and cons associated with assigned seating.
Pros:
- You are on top of managing your guest list every step of the way!
- You get to design an amazing escort card table, wall, mirror – anything that fits your wedding style – to guide guests to their table.
- You get to be in charge of where guests are sitting and make sure that everyone is comfortable in where they will be seated. Your work colleagues can be at a table together, family can be seated together, guests traveling who may not know as many people at the reception but might have like interests can sit together.
- You will have an exact count for your caterer and other vendors on how many guests will be attending.
Cons:
- You HAVE to be on top of your gust list, which will mean calling those guests who haven’t RSVP’d at the last minute and getting how many guests are coming from those who didn’t fill that out.
- You will have to be flexible and expect last minute changes from guests. Some won’t come after all, some will come last minute, and some might think it is okay to bring a guests. And for some reason, they all think it is okay to contact you last minute and tell you! Make sure your escort card table is flexible enough for changes.
- You will need to have a few extra seats just in case you get those guests who didn’t RSVP but have decided to join the celebration anyway. Let someone know where that table will be.
I want my wedding to be black tie, can I put that on the invitation?
Attire on the invitation is actually quite helpful for guests, just make sure it is precise, like Black Tie. Don’t leave it to the imagination with non-descript verbiage such as, “outdoor dressy”, make sure you keep the guests informed of their surroundings and what is acceptable.
When is my actual guest count due to vendors?
Read your contracts to make sure that you follow each vendor’s deadline as your wedding approaches. Your guest count may be due to vendors as early as 30 days prior to the wedding, or as close as the Monday the week of the wedding. As you prepare your invitations, make sure you set your RSVP’s to return to you with enough time to get your earliest deadline to your vendor and have enough time to reach out to guests if needed.
Do I have to provide food for my vendors the night of the wedding?
Yes, you should feed your vendors that are staying with you throughout the night of your wedding, but make a plan for feeding them. It is great to have a designated area and/or time for your vendors to eat so that they aren’t eating in front of guests and dinner doesn’t interrupt their services. Check their contracts to make sure you know if they will have an assistant or associate with them to know how many vendors of each category you will be feeding.
